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We are constantly bombarded with messages about what we should aspire to.
From a young age, we’re shown images of success, happiness, and health defined by external standards. Think of the perfect body, the high-flying career, the ideal family, or the latest wellness trend.
We set goals based on these benchmarks, striving towards ideals that might look great on paper or social media.
But have you ever truly stopped to ask yourself: Are these goals truly mine? Or am I chasing someone else’s definition of a good life?
It’s easy to follow paths others have set out.
We often adopt goals that have worked for friends, family, or public figures, believing they’ll bring us similar fulfilment. This might mean chasing a certain job title, a specific physique, or a lifestyle actively marketed as ideal.
There’s nothing wrong with finding inspiration from others. But blindly following someone else’s blueprint leads to a life that feels hollow or misaligned. Your strengths, values, and motivations are unique.
Trying to fit yourself into a mould that doesn’t reflect who you are creates friction. This manifests as a nagging sense that something isn’t right, even if everything “looks” successful.
How do you know if a goal is truly yours?
Genuine passion feels like a powerful pull from within. It energises you and directly aligns with your core values. Even when it’s challenging, the process itself feels deeply meaningful.
In contrast, goals based on trends or external pressure often start with excitement but fade quickly. They feel like obligations rather than genuine opportunities.
If a goal is driven by a sense of “should” instead of “want,” it may not be rooted in your authentic self.
Nowhere is this more visible than in health and well-being.
Social media is full of curated ideals and quick-fix solutions. We are shown exactly how we “should” eat, move, and look, often with completely unrealistic expectations.
This can lead to setting health goals based on comparison, appearance, or urgency rather than genuine well-being. You might try extreme diets or intense exercise routines not because they feel good, but because they fit a certain image.
Over time, this creates significant stress and a negative relationship with your body and health.
Genuine health goals begin by tuning out the noise and listening to your body.
Ask yourself: What does feeling healthy truly mean to me? Is it having energy for your kids? Being pain-free while enjoying your favourite hobbies? Feeling at ease in your skin, both mentally and physically?
Authentic goals stem from self-care, not punishment. They focus on building resilience and energy in sustainable, kind ways. They are adaptable to your unique needs, not rigid rules.
Once you’re clear on your goals, build habits that actively reflect them.
Choose routines that feel like acts of care, not tasks to be endured. Start with small changes you can consistently maintain.
Pick foods that truly nourish you and you genuinely enjoy eating.
Move in ways that feel good. Stretch, walk, lift, or dance—whatever helps you feel connected to your body. Anchor habits to deeper reasons.
When a habit aligns with your core values, it becomes much easier to stick with.
A healthy and fulfilling life isn’t about ticking someone else’s boxes. It’s about understanding what truly matters to you and taking deliberate steps in that direction.
Let your inner compass guide you; it already knows where you’re meant to go.
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